Grovers Mill is a community that was initially made famous in Orson Welles’ 1938 radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds, where it was depicted as the epicenter of a Martian invasion, on October 30 of that year. There have been numerous references in fiction, including The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, the Wild Cards book series, and a town called Miller’s Grove in The X-Files episode “War of the Coprophages”. In issue 11 of DC Comics’ The Shadow Strikes (1989), The Shadow teams up with a radio announcer named Grover Mills, a character based on the young Orson Welles, who has been impersonating The Shadow on the radio. Welles played the Shadow on radio prior to the War of the Worlds broadcast. An episode of the War of the Worlds TV series takes place in Grover’s Mill on the 50th anniversary of the Welles radio drama, and expands on the town’s ties to the infamous broadcast. (Wikipedia 2018). Grover’s Mill Podcast is a podcast put together by a team of passionate people from all around the world. It has been two years in the making and is meant to be a form of entertainment. It has taken the spirit of the great works before it. It is a fictional podcast, that is shared with you as a satire and parody. The Podcast references familiar people, places, locations, pop-culture, historical points of interest and social settings to give context to the story for the purpose of conveying its satirical nature. The events, conversations and occurrences depicted in the Podcast were conceived by the Producers of the Podcast, and as far as the Producers are aware, they did not actually occur. Additionally, we have used some real-life personalities. However, the characteristics, qualities and actions that we have applied to those people are not meant to be real, and were conceived for the sole purpose of conveying and giving life to the Grover’s Mill story. To the extent permissible, in no event shall the Producers be liable for any damage, loss, harm, cost, disruption or confusion that arises as a result of listening to or engaging with the Grover’s Mill Podcast.
*Note to reader. This is a fictional satirical podcast designed with parody for comedic purposes only-see our disclaimer on the website for more information.
Willkie Poe: Previously on Grover’s Mill.
Speaker 2: I’ve had a plan, a long term plan to prove to people that the moon landings were faked. The lie was so beautiful even the people that built the lie, ended up believing that it happened. Facts just have no place in the argument. I have new facts as it, were from one of the nine people involved in this conspiracy.
Speaker 3: This is a nice small town and there is no mystery, okay? I’m telling you there is nothing here that says Rodney is any danger.
Speaker 4: Rodney is in danger. We think our participant state of trying to get to Rodney and more importantly get the tape recordings and the other documents that prove the moon landings were fake.
Speaker 5: Gail flight controller is gonna go for landing.
Speaker 5: Lionel
Speaker 5: Zidane
Speaker 5: Patrol
Speaker 5: Delcon
Speaker 5: Gensy
Speaker 5: Econ
Speaker 5: Surgeon
Speaker 5: Capcom, we’re go for landing
Eagle: Okay engine stopped.
Speaker 5: We copy you down, Eagle.
Eagle: We’ve been [inaudible 00:01:24] here. The Eagle has landed.
Speaker 1: Right, so I’m in my hotel room and after a really hectic few weeks I need to tell you that over the last couple of nights some bloody strange things have been happening. I’ve been getting really odd signals coming in at various times. They’re not like the normal forensic signals I get no they’re, almost like messages or interruptions. And this morning, when Brian and I were packing up for the trip to Panama, we saw a crop circle appear. In the field behind the hotel. It was of a monkey riding a hippo and the monkey was nursing a baby sloth and right now my TV won’t work, the internet is down, and I’m lucky this Dictaphone uses batteries. But, I can tell you that the energy in here right now is from somewhere else. Another place in the universe. It’s like they’re trying to tell us-
Bob: Ladies and gentleman we interrupt our program to bring you a special bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. If you’re hearing this broadcast then that means that this episode of Grovers Mill has been stolen, ripped from the hands of logic and truth. An episode with so much to tell and so much to reveal has simply vanished. We don’t know why, we don’t know how. All we know is that between the hours of 7:45 PM and 9:20 PM Eastern Standard Time, a strange paranormal activity occurred. Our files were being uploaded and edited when we heard strange sounds in our building and all electronic activity went dead for twenty minutes. On the reinstatement of power all our severs were wiped and all our files gone. We have dispatched a forensic investigator unit to the scene and will have our commentator, Vin Mariani, give you a description of what occurred. Vin?
Vin Mariani: Yes hi Bob, well I hardly know where to begin. I was uploading the files and these are huge files mind you and this episode was all about the FBI interviews we had and the video of, oh man we have this incredible video of wait-
Bob: Ladies and gentleman due to circumstances beyond our control we’re unable to continue this episode of Grovers Mill. Evidently there’s some difficulty with our field transmission. However, we will return to that point at the earliest opportunity. In the mean time we have a late bulletin from San Diego, California. Professor Bercoff Fedderton speaking at a dinner at the California Astronomical Society… It would seem that our announcement about the missing episode has been hijacked as well, this is indeed chaotic. We are experiencing interference on top of interference. Ladies and gentleman, I have just been informed that we have finally established communication with Vin Mariani. The next voice you will hear will be that of Vin Mariani brought to you by direct wire. Vin are you there?
Speaker 17: And how long have you been experiencing this rage towards your mother?
Speaker 18: Ever since I was twelve, when she came home and gave the cookies to the dog and not me.
Speaker 17: Mm-hmm (affirmative). She neglected your hunger. You see. She gave to the dog what she couldn’t give to you.
Speaker 18: My god, cookies?
Speaker 17: Yeah, cookies.
Bob: Ladies and gentlemen I have a grave announcement to make. Incredible as it may seem, both the observations of science and the evidence of our eyes, lead to the inescapable assumption that we seem to have patched into a private conversation. We will now attempt to go direct to episode five of Grovers Mill and the incredible video surrounding the coverup, and the new evidence that has come to light.
Speaker 19: Welcome all to Mercury. Your data clocks are set. Remember the air is dangerous, but the nitrogen is not. Next flight to Saturn departs in forty-two orbitals.
Billy: So, how is mars?
Speaker 20: Oh man, those martians are hilarious they’re all drunk on space juice.
Billy: Well I don’t understand martians though.
Speaker 20: What?
Billy: ‘Cause, they’ve got legs.
Speaker 20: Oh, right.
Billy: But if you look closely their knees, their knees have got faces and then they look all scared.
Speaker 20: What facey legs? That’s hilarious. Well I suppose they keep their genitals in their knees too, yeah?
Billy: Well they do.
Speaker 20: Anyway, so I saw this whole documentary the other day.
Billy: Documentary, what was that like a tree or something?
Speaker 20: No it’s not a tree. It’s an old kind of film of where like compiling information to humans.
Billy: Okay, right.
Speaker 20: Yeah, so it was actually on the human race.
Billy: What like earth human?
Speaker 20: Yeah, those idiots.
Billy: I’m into humans right, but I look at them weirdly. Like I remember when, do you remember when our old guys did that stunt down there with that, with that bloke down there.
Speaker 20: Dunno what you’re talking about.
Billy: Yeah, the he did this stunt and they thought that it was fake, that the guys down there dunno that it was real.
Yeah my cousin Bradley
Speaker 20: What?
Billy: He went down there to that town, he hung out.
Speaker 20: Oh, you mean the War of the Worlds thing?
Billy: That’s it. Well it was amazing that like it was, it was a big bang down on earth for them wasn’t it?
Speaker 20: That was when humans were fun.
Billy: But see then all around now, they’ve packed in haven’t they? Plus whenever you think about it they were dumb. I mean they though right that they were the only ones in this universe even though you can see us, hello, this planet that we’re on now, duh.
Speaker 20: And we’ve been going there for centuries.
Billy: My aunt wants to go down there by the way.
Speaker 20: Really?
Billy: Yeah, she wanted to meet with their sports players.
Speaker 20: Oh, yuck.
Billy: If they just looked up and saw some stuff, none of this would have happened.
Speaker 20: Yeah but humans are different from us.
Billy: Well they got toes, haven’t they? And they’ve got those other things, what they’re called?
Speaker 20: Feelings?
Billy: Yeah that’s it. Feelings and that, what’s that thing related to that?
Speaker 20: Oh, emotions?
Billy: Yeah emotions. And those idiots, they let those emotions decide their fate.
Speaker 20: Exactly, so dumb. Okay so in this documentary, yeah? They were showing how all the humans, Billy get this, that they actually traveled out here.
Billy: What to Mercury?
Speaker 20: No, to their moon!
Billy: Their moon?
Speaker 20: Yes!
Speaker 20: Like totally they’ve got a few blokes together right? And then put them in a tiny capsule and thought that they would get them up there to their moon.
Billy: Oh come on, that’s hilarious.
Speaker 20: I know.
Billy: I’ve got to tell my mate that. He lives over on the Orion Belt, he loves that kind of history stuff.
Speaker 20: Yeah, but we know it’s impossible for them.
Billy: Well they faked it didn’t they?
Speaker 20: Yeah and they keep denying we exist, right? Ridiculous. I mean you know way back when our pilots use to smoke aetherial dust and get high and drift down to earth?
Billy: Oh yeah.
Speaker 20: Yeah. So a few people spotted it, down on earth, right? The high up earthers, shot a few down, hid the rest.
Billy: Did they sort it?
Speaker 20: Yes, but the high up earthers made it all seem fake, and made out that those that saw our pilots were crazy.
Billy: Oh man, that’s so fucked up.
Speaker 20: I know!
Billy: Why couldn’t they just see what they were doing to each other. All those coverups, the lies, the war, right? I mean strange given the way they’re all the same humans [crosstalk 00:08:46]. They’re not like us out here we’re [crosstalk 00:08:48]
Speaker 20: Yeah, they didn’t realize of course, until it was too late.
Billy: We’re so lucky to be up here aren’t we?
Speaker 20: Look mate, we take all this nitrogen and gas for granted. Though given what we know about intergalactic time travel, it’s not inconceivable that what we’re talking about now couldn’t exist back then.
Billy: So they could be hearing what we’re talking about right now but back then?
Speaker 20: Precisely.
Speaker 20: How funny would that be? I guess it’s flooding in the dimension gap, so it lives forever doesn’t it?
Billy: Totally. Be weird though wouldn’t it? ‘Cause we know they wouldn’t believe that they were listening to us, they’d think it’s something else.
Speaker 20: I know.
Billy: You know what I wouldn’t mind doing?
Speaker 20: No, go on then?
Billy: I wanna show them how wrong they were right? I wanna go back in time, well oh we can do easy. And all I wanna do is become their president and then sleep with as many as their females as possible, let’s say a million, and get them all pregnant.
Speaker 20: What would that achieve?
Billy: Well they’d have all big orange heads, wouldn’t they? Big heads [crosstalk 00:09:38] Well it’d be kind of like a metaphor wouldn’t it?
Speaker 20: For what?
Billy: That we have bigger brains.
Speaker 21: Okay, I’m gonna step off to land now. It’s one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind.
Speaker 1: Next time, on Grover’s Mill.
Speaker 23: Moon landings? No, we’re just here scouting for locations. We’re in the movie business.
Speaker 24: But no one’s gonna believe us. They’ll think we’re just deluded conspiracists.
Speaker 25: But we have evidence man.
Speaker 26: Evidence isn’t proof.
Speaker 27: There is only one way to prove that they faked it. And that is to fake it.
Speaker 28: How long can you aliens still don’t understand about humans? Yes they are for the most part illogical and irrational. They are built to destroy themselves.
Speaker 26: So, I looked and there are dates and times that dad had written and then a symbol a pyramid with an eye in it.
Speaker 27: [inaudible 00:11:13]
Willkie Poe: Grover’s Mill is written and produced by Matt Cohengold, Garret Dupes, and me Willkie Poe. Music and sound design is by Matt Slaton. With special thanks to Rupert Degas and Amy Horn. We’d also like to thank Megan Tate, Mark Gluhak, Barry Steward, Marcus Beer, Steven Busutill, Zansen Pierre, and Anya Delgonaver. This has been a Grovers Mill Production copyright 2018.
Grover’s Mill is a fictional podcast that is shared with viewers of satire and parody. It depicts entirely fictitious situations that are products of the writer’s imaginations. The podcast references familiar places and events and whilst we have also used some real life personalities; the characteristics, qualities and actions that we’ve applied to those people are not intended to be real. We also do no suggest any association with or sponsorship by any person or entity. All other names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons living or deceased, places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. For further information on Grovers Mill and it’s use in satire, parody, and fiction; please read the disclaimer on our website Grovers Mill Podcast.com.